Seven Days & a Wife

Good Morning!

I never made it to the stores but I did make it to the nail salon and to the gym. I also began some research at home, my deadline situation is a mess but I'm going to shake it off and get better at it.
When I sit back and think about my choices. I have to swallow the fact that I may actually be walking away from 2 people. It's a hard pill to swallow, not necessarily a reason for me to stay but a harsh reality. I have tons of memories on social media, my computer, and even my phone. I could erase them with a click of a button, but the memories live in my heart, in my brain, and in my soul.

Last night, before I lay down... I came across a picture and I couldn't help but to share it with him. Last night, I had a moment (well I've had several moments over the last seven days), yet one that I felt the need for a hug & a kiss on the forehead saying "Baby, everything will be okay!" Is this situation fixable? Is it what my mind & my heart really desire? It's so much at stake, I'm not all that sure that I have time to consider & not to consider, especially with how his priorities are ordered. I wish I didn't involve any one until I was quite sure. I reflect on the good times and how he made me feel, how taking care of her made me feel. Then I can think about the "not so good" times and how those moments made me feel. Hmm strong right? Even down to the idea that I thought a baby would fix it.

The unthinkable right? Love is kind. Love is patient. Love has ups and downs. He made a good point when he said, right now, all I can view is the negative, that's all I see. Pictures, videos, and memories take me back that airy, heavenly-like love, that saw no errors, flaws, or mistakes. At one point I craved him like an addiction, trying to savor every second, minute, and hour of time with him. Yet, 7 days later... there is some peace and relief yet still a void. A void that I feel may never be filled. A connection, a love, that may be irreplaceable. All 7 days were days where communication was shared. He says I am supposed to be his wife, he is my husband, and I'm supposed to carry his son. Is counseling the answer? When a man find a good thing, does he really find a wife?